Too Late For Change
by G.Aileen
Summary: See Jen's life through the eyes of herself, and friends.  Jen wanted to blame everything on her parents and friends, but really her friends were her only real comfort.  Suck at Summary.  Please Read and Review!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**** – A Flash Back**

My throat was clogged by rough hands. With all my strength, I tried to remove the weight off my neck. Sweat ran down my face as my heart beat raced. There was no where to move; he held captive over me. The strength I had was slowly leaving my body. The grip on my neck became tighter and tears ran from my eyes to the pain. My eyes were gradually shutting and there was no oxygen left to supply my body. I became tired; I had absolutely nothing left in me to fight back. My arms fell to the side and my head fell on my shoulder. As the last tear from my eye fell, I gave up.

Memories of my life were rushing through my head and I couldn't think clearly. My thoughts ran me back all the way to junior high school. That was pretty much where it whole began.

I was new to this school. I sat alone during breaks, had no partners for projects, and ate by myself during lunch. I hated my new school.

On my way to my next class, someone came up to me, and actually began to talk to me. I remembered her face from a previous class.

"Hey. It's Jennifer, right?" she asked.

I nodded.

"Well my name is Alyssa. Its nice to meet you," she said then held out her hand. I shook it then the bell rang.

She led me the way to class and told me to sit by her. I didn't want to be rude so I did. She talked on all through the whole period. I didn't mind because even though she talked fast, I understood every word.

The next day of school wasn't as bad as the last. During breaks, Alyssa would let me hang around with her and she introduced me to her friends.

"This is Tom and Adam," she said pointing to them. Adam gave me a smile and I smiled back. Alyssa caught us and stood between our visions.

"Weird," she muttered.

I looked away to the next person she introduced me next.

"And this is Luz," she led me to a girl with dark hair. "We sometimes call her loser."

I smiled at her joke.

My life was going great. I had great people to talk to. They had become my friends. And Alyssa became my best friend.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**** – Problems at Home**

Two years has passed and we were in sophomore year of high school.

My friends were the best things to look forward to because, at home, my parents would always be fighting.

Every single day after school, I would enter a house full of shouting and yelling. I would quietly sneak up into my room and shut the door behind me. After those hours of yelling, my father would leave. He would turn the engine of his car and drive away. In the morning, he would return home drunk with a beer bottle in his hand. And the whole routine would start over again.

I went into the kitchen in search of breakfast. I looked in the fridge, but it was only full of beer bottles and cans. So I decided to eat at school.

In the cafeteria, I sat with Alyssa and Luz. "I tried calling you last night," they both said.

"Really? I probably didn't hear the ring over the shouting," I replied, knowing I put them in an awkward situation.

Alyssa spoke up, "Look. If you wanna talk about this, I here for you, ok?"

I smiled and said thanks. The bell rang and we immediately got up and ran to class.

I arrived late for class and the only open seat was in the front row. I put my binder on the desk and waited for our lesson.

This teacher liked to pick on me. As I turned to the side to talk to Alyssa, the teacher grabbed my binder and slammed it on my desk. I jumped and Alyssa began to laugh at my humiliation.

After school had ended, I went straight home. Turning the knob of the front door, I could already hear the shouts of my parents. With a sigh, I quickly opened the door and tried to make my way upstairs. Before I could do that, my father caught my wrist. He began to yell in my face, saying everything was my fault. I hated the scar his words left, but I wasn't the first time. My eyes began to get watery and I tried to get away from his grasp. Then, slowly, his hand rose. His hand cut through the air and across my face. My cheek stung. My father turned to my mother and began to yell at her.

I ran upstairs and locked myself into the room. I searched for the pain pills under my bed. When I found it, I opened it, spilled some on my hand and swallowed it. Then I laid on my bed for the rest of the night.

After I heard the car drive away, a knock came on my door. I picked myself up and dragged myself to the door. I opened it and saw my mother.

"I'm really sorry," she told me.

"It's fine. It's not your fau…" I began but got cut off.

"We're getting divorced. I'm moving away and it's up to you where you want to live," she said then left the room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**** – Series of Phone Calls**

The next day at school, all I thought of was where I was going to live. If I went with my mom, it would mean that I had to leave my friends. If I stayed here, my dad would always be yelling at me, but I would always have my friends to comfort me. This was it. My decision would be based on my friends. I hated this situation.

"Jen!" Alyssa said, breaking my thoughts. "Is something wrong?"

"No, why would you say that?" shaking my head.

"You just have a worried look on your face, that's all."

"Sorry. I just have a lot on my mind right now."

"Its fine. Anyway, what are you going to do over summer break?"

"Either packing or getting yelled at…"

"Packing? Why?" she asked nearly shouting. That brought my other friends in a circle around us.

"My parents are making me choose between them. I hate it."

"Oh," Alyssa said, sounding sad. "I hope you make the right decision."

I looked around my group of friends and noticed there was a missing face. Where was Adam? I found him leaning against a tree. I walked over to him.

"Hey," I greeted.

"So you're leaving… " He asked with disappointment.

"Nothings for sure yet."

"Oh that's good."

The bell rang and we all left for class. As I turned back, I saw Adam still leaning against the tree. I suddenly felt the abrupt urge not to leave this town.

ALYSSA'S POV

As I sat in class, I kept thinking of how life would be like without her. I tried to focus on something else, but nothing worked.

After school, I found Tom and Adam talking. As I approached them, Adam leaves saying, "Good luck," to Tom.

"What's that about?" I asked curiously.

JEN'S POV

I went home hearing yelling again. I ran upstairs. As soon as I got in my room, my phone rang. I searched for it. When I finally found it, I answered, "Hello?"

"Jen, Jen, Jen! Guess what!" the voice said.

"What's up, Alyssa?"

"Guess what Tom just did!" she sounded excited.

"He… hmm… He jumped off a cliff. What did he do?"

"He asked me out!"

"And… you said?"

"Yes!!!"

"That's cool. Happy for you."

"Thanks! You know how long I've waited for this to happen?"

With my normal sarcasm I said, "I don't know. A week?"

"You know it's been a long time."

"Sadly, I do."

We both laughed. We talked on the phone for the rest of the night talking about her new boyfriend.

ADAM'S POV

I paced back and forth wondering if I should call her. I picked up the phone and dialed Tom's number. He finally picked up.

"I need your help!" I said to him.

"Yeah, me too. I don't get this math homework."

"No, not that! Should I call her or not?"

"Call who? I'm confused!"

"Jen!"

"Wait… Why do you want to call her?"

"Ugh… This math homework is confusing… and uhh…"

"You like her, don't you! I knew it!" Tom said and began laughing.

"Shut up! You're no help!" I hung up hearing Tom still laughing.

ALYSSA'S POV

Jennifer and I were still on the phone talking. Between conversations I could hear her parents shouting in the distance. I hated not being able to help her. I hated how Jen didn't want to speak of this situation at all. Maybe if she had said something about this, this decision wouldn't be so hard for her.

"Didn't Adam look disappointed after I said I might be moving?" Jen asked.

"He did… Why you asking?" I asked curiously.

"Ugh… No reason! Listen. I gotta go, bye!"

"Bye." Then we hung up.

That was extremely strange. It almost sounded as if she liked Adam. What a thought… Then my phone rang. It was Tom.

"Hello?"

"Hey, you can never guess what I learned today," he said.

"Probably not. Tell me."

"Adam likes Jen!" he said then started laughing.

"Wow… And it sounds like Jen likes him too," I responded.

"How do you know?"

"She immediately hung up right after talking about Adam."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**** – Predictable Change**

JEN'S POV

After I hung up, I went downstairs. I found my mom on the couch sleeping and my dad already left. This is what happens every night.

I went in the kitchen and opened up a drawer. There, I found three packs of cigarettes. Without being noticed, I grabbed one and went upstairs. I never intended on smoking it, but I just kept it under my bed, along with the pain pills and everything else.

The next day of school was our last for sophomore year.

Alyssa and I sat on the bench talking. Later, Tom and Adam show up.

"Hey," I said to them. They greeted me back.

"Alyssa, can you help me do something… over there?" Tom asked Alyssa.

"Sure Tom, why not?" she said like a bad actor.

They left, leaving me with Adam. He then sat down next to me.

ALYSSA'S POV

"They look good together don't you think?" I asked Tom. As I turned to look at him, I noticed he wasn't even listening. I hit him in the arm.

"Ow. What was that for?"

"Look at them!" I said, pointing at Jen and Adam.

We both watched them talk and laugh with each other.

ADAM'S POV

I sat on the bench with Jen just talking. I had a bag of chips in my hands. All of a sudden, Jen grabbed the bag and started eating it herself.

"Hey! What was that for?" I asked.

"I'm hungry."

I smiled at her, watching her munch on the chips. Then, to break my gaze, she asked, "Adam…"

"Yes ma'am?"

"Do you love me?" Her question puzzled me. Was she being sarcastic or serious? I decided to play along.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you stole my chips."

She looked away, sighed, and then smiled at me. "Well you weren't even eating them!"

"So… they weren't yours in the first place."

She stuck out her tongue at me. The bell rang.

JEN'S POV

As the last school bell rang of the year, students went running and screaming out.

I found my group of friends by the gate near the school exit. I caught up with them.

"Hey!" I said.

They all greeted me back. We all talked and chatted for a while.

Then a voice behind me said,"Hey Jen…" I turned to see who it was. It was Jason from my previous class. "I'm going to a party next Saturday night. You wanna go… with me?"

"I'm not sure if…" I began

"Just think about it," he said then handed me a flyer. As I turned back to the group, I noticed the same face missing.

"Where'd Adam go?" I asked.

"He started walking home," Tom told me and pointed down the street.

I ran after him, trying to catch up.

"Adam! Wait!" I yelled. He didn't turn and just kept walking. When I finally caught up I grabbed his arm, causing him to turn to me.

"Adam," I said, breathing heavily. "What's wrong?"

He took a deep breath then said, "You know he likes you…"

"Who? Jason? That can't be… It wouldn't matter anyways. It's not like I actually like him. He's a jerk."

Obviously not listening, he said, "There's no reason for you to start something with him when you know you're leaving!"

"I told you. Nothing's for sure yet," I tried explaining.

"We all know you're leaving, Jen! I know you hate your dad, so why would you still want to live with him?"

I couldn't say anything to him. I watched him turn and start walking again.

"For you!" Then he stopped. "I… I mean for my friends."

I saw him shake his head then began walking again. Something cold and wet ran down my cheek. Adam was mad at me. I couldn't believe it.

When I got home, I went upstairs. I couldn't stop think of Adam. I began to have a really bad headache. So, I grabbed the pills under the bed. I spilled some on my hand, didn't bother counting how much, and swallowed them without water.

ADAM'S POV

Why was this so hard for me? I can easily get mad at her, but it was so difficult for me to tell her I liked her. Now, Jason jumps into the picture and makes it even more problematical.

I know Jason. He's the usual get-with-me-and-I'll-get-you-in-trouble type of guy. He uses people and ends up cheating or dumping them. I have no idea what his intentions are towards Jen. He's never made contact with her before and now he makes a move. Something was up, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

I hated how we last left our conversation. She was probably angry with me for how I acted towards her. I picked up the phone and dialed her number.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Hey," I said, nervously. "It's Adam."

I heard her sigh on the phone.

"Is this a bad time for you?" I asked.

"No. It's fine." On the other line I could hear shouting in the distance. I felt so useless not being able to do anything to help her.

"Well, I just want to apologize for earlier. I didn't mean to yell at you. I guess I was jealous."

There was no sound on the phone. Finally she spoke up, "Jealous? Why would you be jealous? We are only just friends, right?"

"Uh… Yeah," I said, disappointed. "I guess."

"Well, it's alright. I forgive you. I'll talk to you later, ok?" She was about to hang up.

"Wait. You've never pictured us to be more… than just friends?"

"I don't know, Adam. Maybe. I just have a lot of things going on right now and I don't want to get involved in things I'm not ready for."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**** – The Decision**

JEN'S POV

The next morning I woke up with the same headache from last night. I got up and went into the bathroom. I hated what I saw in the mirror. I looked down and saw my hand shaking. Holding it with my other hand, I tried stopping it.

After, I went back and rested on my bed. Then I heard the phone ring.

"Hello?" I answered.

"It's Jason. So are you coming?" he asked.

I thought for a while then said, "Sure." I didn't know what I just said. I wanted to take it back, but couldn't.

"Good. I'll come pick you up at…say 6," he said then hung up.

Great… I had a date coming up, Adam's mad at me, and I had to make up my decision about leaving. I had too much on my mind.

I went downstairs, finding my mom. She finally noticed and turned to me. "We're leaving Saturday. Do you have your things packed?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**** – Search for Comfort, End with Dispute**

ALYSSA'S POV

We were all planning on hanging out in the mall today. Tom was on the phone with Adam and I kept a lookout for Jen.

When Tom got off the phone he said, "So he's not coming."

"Why?"

"Something happened in their last conversation. I don't think he'll be talking to Jen anytime soon."

"Why?"

"…because Adam is stupid and will not admit his undying love for her."

"Why?" I could tell Tom was getting annoyed, so I stopped there. "Look here comes Jen."

"Hey," she said to us.

"Hey now!" I said and gave her a hug.

"So where's Adam?" she asked us.

I was about to say something, but Tom beat me to it. "He's out sick."

"Oh," she said disappointed. "I wanted to talk to him about something."

I was wondering what she needed to say. Her eyes proved that it was something important, but she made it sound like it was no big deal. Everyone knows about Adam's feelings towards Jen. How could she be so blind?

We made our way to the food court. We waited in line. And as we waited, we got our money ready. I watched as Jen dug through her purse. When she pulled out a ten, something else fell out.

I bent down to pick it up. It was a brown medicine bottle. I check the name, which it was subscribed to. It wasn't hers.

"Give it back," I heard suddenly.

"Jen, this isn't yours-"

"Just give it back!" she said. She held out her hand and found it was shaking. "Alyssa! Give it back!"

"You need to go to the doctor," I said, and then tried to lead her out. Then she pulled away.

"Alyssa! I don't freakin' need to go there! Just give it back!" she was yelling.

"No!"

Jen managed to get hold of the bottle. She pulled it right out of my hands. Before leaving, she said, "I thought you were my friend." She began to walk out the building. I saw her open the bottle and swallow some.

"I was just trying to help," I said. I saw Tom just come out of the bathroom. I ran to him and cried in his arms.

ADAM'S POV

I was just sitting on the couch watching TV when my doorbell rang. I quickly got up and opened the front door. Jen stood there with tears in her eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

She didn't say a word. I walked up closer to her and held her in my arms as she wept. "No one understands," she babbled. "I'm going through so much."

"What are you talking about?" I said, trying to make sense of what she said.

"I can't believe I called Alyssa my friend!" she yelled through her tears.

I was now truly confused. What did Alyssa do? Was just another of their monthly fights. But if it was, why would she be breaking down like this? "What did Alyssa do?"

She wiped the tears from her eyes and stayed quiet. She was holding something back; she was hiding something from me. She shook her head.

"Well, whatever it is, I'm sure she's just trying to protect you," I commented.

"Protect me? What, are you on her side now?"

"What are you talking about, Jen?" I asked confused. "I'm not taking sides. I'm just trying to make out on what happened based on the information you've told me. And that's not even enough!"

"I shouldn't have come here," she sneered.

I stood there astonished. "What the hell's the matter with you?"

"…obviously every single one of my friends," she shot back. Turning around, she headed back down the street.

"Jen, wait!" I called out to her. She was already half the street down, thus she had no hearing capability. And again, we were left with another fight.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**** - Fortification**

Saturday, I sat on my couch. _She probably left already, _I kept thinking. I hated not having resolved our problem before she left. We probably won't talk at all or have contact with each other from now on. I hated knowing that.

JEN'S POV

I waited on the front porch. I looked up and down the street seeing if my "date" was coming. A car finally arrived and I got in. As we drove to the party we were both dead silent.

Arriving at the party, Jason led me inside. Blasting loud music filled the room. I watched Jason as he went to get us some drinks. When he came back and handed me my drink, and had a sip. Minutes later, I felt my stomach acting up. My stomach tightened and turned and the pain caught me light headed. Then a bad headache arrived. I rushed to the bathroom. In there, I noticed my hand shaking again. I dug through my purse, searching for the pills. I found some, swallowed them, but it didn't stop my hand from shaking. I didn't know what to do. Scared, I got my cell and dialed the number.

ALYSSA'S POV

I sat in the theatres with Tom watching some chick flick. I didn't pay much attention to the movie because all the while, I wondered if Jen left yet. Then I heard my phone ring.

"Shut up!" a person behind us said.

It was Jen on the phone, I dismissed the call, but it rang again. I stepped outside and answered.

"What?"

"Alyssa… I need your help-"

"I tried helping you already… Why don't you just call one of your friends-"

"Alyssa please…"

"No!" I wanted to make her suffer, but I hated how I felt. Later I heard a different voice on the phone.

"Who are you on the phone with, Jen?" asked the voice.

"Jason… Its no one."

"Give me the phone," I heard Jason say in the distance. Unexpectedly, I heard the phone fall to the floor.

"Don't touch me!" I heard my friend yell.

I immediately ran back into the theatres, grabbed Tom, and ran back out. When we arrived at the party I searched for Jen while Tom called Adam.

I searched everywhere. I checked the kitchen, bedrooms, and then the bathroom. I found her passed out on the floor. Crouching down, I noticed her hand shaking. I held it trying to stop it.

Tom carried her to the porch. She lay there, on my lap, and we waited for Adam to arrive.

ADAM'S POV

When I arrived, I found them on the porch steps. I ran over. Then I saw Jen. I hated seeing her like this.

"Who did this?" I asked them.

"Jason."

I ran inside in search for him. Once I found him, I pushed him against the wall.

"What the fu-" Jason began.

I punched him in the nose. He put his hand over his nose and tried to ease the pain.

"What the fuck, man?" he yelled, pushing me back.

"Shut up!" I shouted at him, pushing him back against the wall.

"This is about Jen, isn't it?" he asked and chuckled.

"Just shut the hell up!" I wanted to hit him again, but I held myself back. "Don't touch her again, or I swear to God I will kill you." And with that I left


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**** – Secluded**

JEN'S POV

I woke up, not knowing where I was. I looked to the side and saw Adam and Alyssa sitting on steel metal chairs.

"Good. You're awake. Now I can leave," Alyssa said and began walking out.

"I'm sorry," I told her.

"Sorry just doesn't cut it right now," she commented and left the room.

Before she slammed the door, I caught a peek at where I was at- the hospital. I looked to the side.

"Mad at me too?" I asked Adam.

He stood up and walked beside my bed. "I thought you left…"

"I couldn't leave." Short pause then, "You never answered my question. Are you mad at me too?"

"…You know I hate Jason! Why'd you still have to go to the party with him?"

"I don't know…"

"He could've hurt you, Jen!"

"I know, I know! Just stop it! Please…" I noticed I had a difficult time breathing.

A nurse walked in. "Sorry visiting hours are over," she said and walked out. He began to walk out, but I caught his hand. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head, pulling his hand from mine. Before walking out the door he turned and said, "Good bye, Jen."

Tears began to fall from the corners of my eyes. My heart was pounding and it hurt to breathe. I stared at the ceiling with my mind full of disasters and messes that I could not fix. Or I refused to fix.

A doctor walked in. "Your parents aren't answering their phone and-"

"I'm not surprised."

"What do you mean by that?" the doctor asked me.

"Well… my dad's probably off getting drunk and I have no idea where my mom is. She left this morning."

"Do you have any other family members or close friends?"

"Close friends? Not anymore…"


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**** – A Breathe of Hatred**

ALYSSA'S POV

Jen was released from the hospital two days after. I heard from her neighbors that they found out that she'd been drugged. But really- She drugged herself from all those pills she's been taking. None of us ever talked to her after that. Adam even moved to another school.

We were two weeks into the new school year. On my way to my next class, I spotted Jen in the hallway talking to someone. Then that person handed her something, but I couldn't tell what was in it. Jen, then, handed the person some money. Drugs?

I went to class with the same question on my mind. I began to do my work, and then I heard something behind me. It was a strong and loud thud. Something or someone had fallen on the floor. I looked back and saw Jen fainted on the floor.

I immediately ran towards her and tried to help her up, but she wouldn't wake up. Some students helped me bring her to the nurse's office. I waited outside.

It took awhile until Jen finally walked out. I stood up and asked, "How are you feeling?"

She just looked at me and said, "Oh. So now you talk to me." Then she walked away.

I started to feel real worried about her. I wanted to help her, but also make her feel miserable like how she did to us. After school, I found her leaning against a tree. I walked up to her. About to say something to Jen, but got cut off by her.

"What do you want?" she said while putting a cigarette between her lips.

"What did the nurse say?" I asked, watching her light it. "Since when do you smoke?"

"Since when did it matter to you?" she blew smoke to my face.

"Look Jen, I'm just trying to-"

"Help me? Hmm let's see. The last time I asked for your help, you blew me off. What makes you think I still _want _your help?"

"It's not the matter of wanting my help, Jen. You need it. You're directed down a path and you're heading no where, but pain and trouble. You're going to regret denying this."

"What is this? Are you lecturing me now?"

I shook my head with disappointment at what stood before me. "I should go…"

"Yeah I think you should," she said and took a breath of smoke.

I began to leave, but for some reason turned back to face Jen again. "You know what, bitch? Fuck you! I fucking hate you!"

JEN'S POV

I stood there, stunned at what I had just heard. I was frozen, just watching Alyssa. I saw her all the hate in her eyes. Then her eyes began to water. The same happened to me.

"I'm sorry," I finally said.

"I don't take it back." Short pause, then, "I hope you die." And with that, she turned and left.

"I hope I do too," I said under my breath. I took the cig and threw it on the ground, stepping on it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**** – Depression and Confrontation**

ALYSSA'S POV

I walked home scared thinking if we were to ever talk again. It wasn't my fault, so why did I feel so guilty? She did this to us. She made us feel miserable. She made us think that all her doing was our fault. It wasn't!

I was so "out" of it that I forgot to meet Tom at his house. So later, I called him still thinking of Jen and what I would do about it.

"Are you ok?" Tom asked.

"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine- just a little tired."

"Why don't you get some rest? You can call me later, when you're rested."

"Alright, I will. I love you, toodles," I said then hung up.

It wasn't a lie, I really was tired, but for some reason I couldn't sleep. I just lay there on my bed watching Jen and mine's all-time favorite TV show, Pokemon. My mind was restless, but I finally got to sleep.

"The nightmare was horrible!" I told tom, the next day at school.

"Oh I'm sorry."

"Its ok, I just want to make sure she's ok," I said beginning to cry.

JEN'S POV

I watched her. I watched her cry. The tears in her eyes made me feel a lot worse.

"Hey Jen," I looked to see who called me.

"Oh, Hi Randy."

"Look Jen, Jason said he was sorry about last summer," he said. "He says he misses you."

Lie I thought. "Listen," I replied. "All my friends already hate me because of him."

"Well it looks like your friends aren't talking to you anyways," he said then left.

It was true; none of my friends were talking to me. I might as well go talk to him. In my gut, I knew this was a really bad idea. I thought to myself, 'Is this really what I want? Or is it a way of just getting back at my friends?'

ADAM'S POV

I missed my friends. I would still see Tom and Alyssa almost every weekend, but it wasn't the same. After Jen came into our lives nothing was ever the same. Even though I had dated a couple of girls, none would ever replace how Jen made me feel when she smiled and laughed with me.

My phone rang and I searched for it. I found it in my backpack. I answered, "Hello?"

"Adam!" I heard Alyssa yell into the phone.

"What?" I replied quickly, "Is something wrong?"

"Yeah, I really need to talk to someone right now," she said.

"Uh. Did you and Tom get into a fight?" I asked, wondering why she called me.

"No, no, no," she said. "He…just doesn't know how I feel… about this whole mess."

"Well… I'm here for you. I can't stand what she did to us," I said with a sigh. "But no matter how hard it is, I don't know. I still find myself strangely wanting… her."

TOM'S POV

It seemed like Alyssa and my relationship wasn't as good as it was before. She would never call and talk to me just because she liked to, she would always call crying and making excuses like "I'm tired." It was all Jen's fault, but I didn't want to tell Alyssa because as soon as I mentioned Jen to her, she would start crying or just leave.

I couldn't stand anymore of this. All this, Alyssa's depression, Adam's isolation, needed to be blamed. I admit it, I blame Jen for this. She screwed our lives and it doesn't seem as if she cared at all. All the rumors about her drug addiction seemed to be true from my perspective. I wish she'd just go away, and leave us alone.

"Jen," I said to her the next morning.

"You're talking to me?" she answered.

"Don't ruin this for me."

"What?" she stood confused before me. "Ruin what?"

"What I have with Alyssa is going great right now. Lately, it's been shitty because she can't stand not having you as a friend. Why don't you two just forgive each other and be happy?" I rambled at her.

"Tom! I can't do that."

"Then just leave me, Alyssa, and Adam alone. We don't need your shit to ruin our lives," I yelled and stomped off.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**** – Seared Anger**

JEN'S POV

I thought over what Tom had said to me. If they wanted me out of their life, that's alright with me. Friends don't turn their back on each other and that's exactly what they did to me. They were supposed to support me and comfort me. Instead, I was left alone.

For some reason I told Jason I would go out with him, again. I somehow managed to forgive him for what had happened. He was drunk, he said, and I believed him. He says he really wants to be with me. I believed him. He promised me that he wouldn't hurt me, anymore. I believed him.

I think the reason I said yes to Jason was to get back at Alyssa and Adam. I wanted to make them feel awful. And I decided that this, going out with Jason, in which they both hate, would do it.

ALYSSA'S POV

"No way! I don't believe you! You're a liar!" I said talking to Luz.

"No, Randy told me! Jason is going out with Jen tomorrow night," Luz replied.

"I can't believe this. Thanks for telling me. See you later."

I didn't know what to do. I could tell Adam, but I was afraid of how he would take the news. I was so mad at Jen, and I didn't know how or what to tell her. I had to tell Adam or he would think I hid this from him.

"Hey Alyssa…" he answered.

"Adam! What are you doing tomorrow?" I shouted into the phone.

"I sort of have something planned after school tomorrow."

"Oh… Like what?"

"I have uh… with uhm… I'm just busy."

By the tone of his voice, I knew something was up. "Busy… Do you have to take a test after school or something?"

"No. I have… a date."

I couldn't believe what I just heard. "A date. With who?"

"Just a girl from school. Look I know what you're thinking," he began. "I think it's time that I move on. I think I waited too long for Jen and…"

"Adam," I said. "Jen is going out with Jason again tomorrow night."

No answer came from the other line.

JEN'S POV

At lunch the next day, Alyssa approached me. "Hey…"

I didn't bother to answer; I walked away.

"I have something to tell you," I heard her say. "…About Adam."

That caused me to stop and turn to look at her. "What about Adam?"

"He's going on a date today after school and-"

What had just reached my ears is what I didn't understand. Adam… _my _Adam is going on a date. I couldn't stand to hear this. "I… I don't care," I said and turned away.

"Well Jen… Now you know how Adam feels. You going out with Jason and all…"

I turned back at her to face her. That hurt me, what she just said. "You have no idea how I feel!" I shouted. "Me going out with Jason has nothing to do-"

Alyssa didn't bother to listen to the rest; she just turned away. I walked up behind her and pushed her. She turned back to me and punched me in the stomach. I returned what she had given to me. "I hate you!" I shouted at her, tears in my eyes. I took a swing causing Alyssa to fall to the floor. She pulled me down with her. Then I suddenly felt someone pulling me back. I saw Tom pulling Alyssa back.

"That was quite a fight," said the person who pulled me back.

I looked up to see who it was, Jason. I remained silent.

"Are we still up for tonight?"

I looked a distant away seeing Alyssa in Tom's arms. "Yeah."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**** - Coincidence**

ADAM'S POV

Her name is Julie- the girl I was taking out tonight. It surprised me at how much we had in common with each other. I planned to take her out to dinner and a movie. She reminded me so much of Jen. They both had similar interests in music and movies. It got me thinking why I hadn't just said I loved her the moment I had the chance. Now it was too late.

And so we sat there in the restaurant talking. We were in deep conversation of how the football team had a 5 wins in a row. She thinks that the band was doing better than the team though. I laughed.

As I waited at the table for our food, Julie took a bathroom break. I watched people come in and out of the restaurant. The next two people in is what surprised me. I saw Jason hand-in-hand with Jen. They were both led to a table behind mine. Jason was first to notice me.

"Well if isn't Adam," he said holding Jen in front of me as if she were some ornament on his Christmas tree.

"Jason…" I said with a quick nod.

"What are you doing here, Adam?" he said always with an emphasis on my name.

"Just go to your table, Jason."

"No, no, no. What if I want to sit here with you?" Jason asked, pulling up a chair.

"I don't want to start something here, Jason. Leave before you regret this," Adam commented.

"Jason," Jen interrupted. "Let's just go."

"No. I came here to eat."

"Well we could eat over there," she replied. And with that, Jason went to another table.

Jen then turned to face me. It's been a long time since I've seen her. Too long…

"Jen…" I began. "What are you doing here with him? Look… The last time this happened, he hurt you!"

"Like it matters anyways."

"What?"

"You moved remember?! You abandoned me. You don't get to care about me anymore. It doesn't matter you say to me because I won't listen to you! Understand?"

I took a step back and with a calm voice said, "Fine. If that's really what you want."

"I'm just trying to avoid a scene. Go back to your date." With that, she turned and walked to her table.

I sat back at our table.

JEN'S POV

Later that night, Jason drove me home. He was quiet. "Is something wrong?" I asked.

He turned to me and smiled, "Nothing."

"Nothing. Alright."

He gave a nod. I feel like he was still hiding something from me. He parked in the driveway and looked at me.

"Good night," he said to me.

"Good night," I said, but just sat there.

"Are you waiting for something?" he asked me smiling.

"Yeah," I whispered. _I was waiting for my so-called friends to apologize to me. I'm waiting for my mom to come back. I'm waiting for my life to get back to normal._

He started to lean towards me and I did the same to him. He was so close that I felt him breathing near my lips. I couldn't stand the wait anymore so I placed my lips upon his. I felt his hands move to my waist and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

We broke apart and I asked him something I wish I hadn't done. "Do you want to come inside?"

He smiled at me and answered, "I'm not sure I'm ready to meet the parents yet."

"My parents aren't home, like they ever are."

"Then sure. I'd love to come in."

I couldn't understand it. I felt as if I was falling for him. No I can't. I just have too much on my mind right now. Alyssa, Tom, and Adam all hate me, my mom moved and I have no idea where she is, and I'm falling for Jason. I just can't.

I stepped out of the car and waited for Jason to come from the other side of the car. I held his hand and led him to the front door. I took the keys and tried to open the door. Successfully, I pushed the door open and led him into my house.

"Sit anywhere you like," I told him. "Would you like anything to drink?"

"Sure," he said sitting down on the couch. "What do you have?"

I opened the refrigerator and found the same thing I see every morning. "Beer."

"I'll take one," he said. I was surprised. I took two and opened them. Handing one to Jason, he took it from my hands and pulled me down to the couch.

I took a long drink from the bottle. And I watched Jason take a longer one. Once he was done, he looked at me and smiled. "I beat you."

"Yes you did. Want another one?" I asked.

"Nah. It's ok. Remember… I have to drive home later."

"True, True. By later… around what time?"

"Ahhh. Trying to get rid of me I see."

"No. I'm just seeing how much time I have left with you." Wait… was I flirting with him now?

"Good answer," he said planting a kiss on my lips. I smiled.

I groaned remembering I had school the following day. "School again…"

"Yeah I know. Wanna skip school?"

I paused for a while. "Yes."

"Alright it's a date." Great… Another date planned. I felt drunk.

So that night, Jason and I pulled an all-nighter. He didn't go home and I didn't go to sleep. It was around 6:30 AM, when I felt another need for the pill. I went to the kitchen, looked for some, swallowed it, and went back to the living room.

I found Jason sitting on the couch waiting for me. I sat down next to him and he put his arm around me. "Are you tired?"

"No."

"Good." He kissed my cheek and then my lips. I was surprised actually finding myself kissing him back. Seconds later, I started to lean back pulling Jason towards me. And so there I was, lying on the couch kissing Jason who was on top of me. I felt his hands starting unbutton my blouse. His kisses on my lips then moved to my neck. I was scared; I was actually allowing him to do this. This needed to stop. I was too young for this and there was plenty going on in my life. "Jason…"

"What?" he asked in between kisses.

"Stop." I tried pushing his hands from unbuttoning my blouse.

"What?" he asked again, obviously not hearing what I said.

The phone rang. I immediately pushed him off me, got up, and answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Jen! It's your mother. Just checking up on you."

"Hey mom. Everything here is fine, except Dad is never home."

"Oh I see. Well I'm glad to hear your voice again."

"So where are you?" I asked. I noticed Jason get up and put his arms around me and began to give light kisses on my collarbone. I felt his hands slip under my shirt, but I pushed it away.

"I'm at your aunt's right now… hey is there someone there with you?" she asked. I think she could hear him.

"Uh yeah. I have someone over."

"Oh let me guess… Alyssa."

"No… we're not… It doesn't matter."

There was a short pause on the other line then, "Then who's there with you?"

"Jason."

"Who's Ja-"

"You don't know him. He's a friend from school."

"Oh well… If he wants anything to drink try and find some water or soda. All we ever had there was beer."

I looked at the coffee table. Throughout the whole night, we ended up drinking almost every bottle in the refrigerator.

"Look Mom… I have to get ready for school."

"Oh ok. Well go ahead. I love you, bye." She hung up.

_I love you. _Now there were words that I haven't heard in a long time. And once again, I began to feel lonely.

"You're going to school?" Jason asked.

"No. It's just one way to get away from a conversation from your mom."

He smiled at me. "Are you drunk?" I asked him.

"I think so." I took Jason by the arm and led him on the couch where he fell asleep.

My mom bringing up Alyssa made me feel terrible. I hated this. We're in a fight. I remembered that we all promised each other that this would never happen to us. What went wrong?


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**** – The Light Diminished**

ALYSSA'S POV

I sat in class, wondering where Jen was. She didn't show up for school. After our little "fight" yesterday, I just needed to apologize. And so I decided to go to her house after school.

I knocked on her door. To my luck, she opened it.

"Alyssa…" she said. Jen was about to close the door, but I held it open in time.

"Look Jen, I need to talk to you. And actually talk to you this time."

She hesitated, but agreed. "Alright. Come in."

I found more than a dozen beer bottles on the coffee table, a pack of cigarettes, a couple pill bottles, and Jason sleeping on the couch.

"Jason spent the night?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Did you guys…"

"Look Alyssa, you came here to talk, so talk."

"Alright, fine. About yesterday at lunch- I'm really sorry about that. I was really pissed off that day and- well… I just don't want to fight with you anymore."

"OK"

"Ok? That's it? You're not gonna add anymore to it?"

"Nope. I don't want to fight anymore either, but this talk- it doesn't mean things between us are resolved."

"I know. I don't know how to 'resolve' it. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it. I'll do anything to earn your friendship back." I was so thankful that slowly we were both forgiving each other. "Adam misses you," I brought up.

She was speechless.

"We all know that Adam loves you, but why can't you see that?"

In a quiet voice, she said, "Alyssa, I knew that. I loved him at some point, too, but it's too late. I've waited and waited for him to make a move- ask me out. After a couple months, I got tired of waiting. It's over."

I noticed Jason start to fidget from the couch. He finally got up and rubbed his eyes. "Hey Alyssa…"

"Jason," I said giving him acknowledgement.

Jason then turned to Jen and said, "Yesterday was great." Then he kissed her. He then went to the bathroom.

Yesterday? I was very curious.

Jen turned back to me with a serious face. "You'll do anything? Anything just so we could be friends again?"

"Yes."

"Help me stop."

"What do you mean?"

"Help me stop this. All of it." She pointed to all the objects on the coffee table and got up and got her backpack. She spilled all its contents unto the table. Drugs.

"Look I know this is all wrong," she continued. "But I just can't stop. You have to help me!"

"I'll help you, I promise."

With all gratitude, I knew she meant this, "Thank you. Just promise me that you won't tell anybody about this. Especially not Adam."

"I promise."

"Ok. Well… It's good talking to you again," she said relieved.

"Same here. So, what is with you and Jason?"

"To tell you the truth… I have no idea. It just sort of happened."

"What happened? What'd you do last night?"

"It's not what you're thinking. All we did was stay up and talk, then…"

Jason walked out of the bathroom.

The polite thing to do was to leave them alone, but I had a feeling something bad was going to happen. "Well I'll talk to you later. Bye," I said, and then left.

I felt the need to tell someone about this conversation with Jen. I called Adam.

JEN'S POV

I was lying on the couch, tired. I closed my eyes thinking of all the problems I had. I felt Jason climb unto the couch with me. I opened my eyes, finding Jason on top of me again. He placed another kiss on my lips.

"What's wrong," he asked, softly kissing below my chin.

"…just thinking of my friends. Alyssa, Tom, and Adam…"

"Adam?"

"Yeah. My friends keep bothering me about how much he liked me. It was actually pretty amusing."

"Did you like him?" he questioned.

His question startled me. It got me thinking if I actually did like him. We were only just friends, but somehow I knew there was more than that. Even when I keep denying the fact of it, I knew deep in my heart it was true. Yes, I like him; in fact, I think I may be in love with him. I began to miss Adam. I missed his laugh, smile, hug, and conversations. I wanted to talk to him again. _I wanted to be with him_. It took so long for me to figure this out, but it's better now than never.

"I need to go," I told Jason.

"Where?"

"Adam."

He gave a short sigh. He looked irritated to hear Adam's name. "Are you leaving me for him?" His hands pushed my shoulders down; now, I couldn't move. "You're with me now, Jen. You can't just dump me like that for a guy."

"He's not just a guy!" I shouted at him, scared he might hurt me.

"Shut up! Adam is over. You are with me now!"

I felt his hands struggling to unbuckle my belt. I still tried pushing his hands away, but he wouldn't stop. "Jason…" I said trying to get up. He pushed me back down. "Stop!" I tried to say.

"No."

He put his hands over my mouth, so that I couldn't make a noise. I was scared. I tried to remove his hands, but he was just too strong. He finally removed his hands from my mouth, but to my neck. I couldn't breathe.

"Just stop fighting me," he said. "You're good friend Adam isn't here to save you anymore."

I was afraid. Tears began to fall from my eyes. "Don't cry," he said tightening his grip on my neck.

My friends were right. Why couldn't I just accept their help, the first time they caught sight that something was wrong? Now, when I need them most, they were long gone. They left my side as friends. They've turned their back on me, only because I turned my back on them.

My throat was clogged by rough hands. With all my strength, I tried to remove the weight off my neck. Sweat ran down my face as my heart beat raced. There was no where to move; he held captive over me. The strength I had was slowly leaving my body. The grip on my neck became tighter and tears ran from my eyes to the pain. My eyes were gradually shutting and there was no oxygen left to supply my body. I became tired; I had absolutely nothing left in me to fight back. My arms fell to the side and my head fell on my shoulder. As the last tear from my eye fell, I gave up.

ALYSSA'S POV

I was on the phone with Adam when I remembered that I had forgotten my bag at Jen's house. I decided to return. I knocked on the door, but no one answered. I opened the door and pushed it open. My phone dropped at a sight that would haunt me forever. Jason was strangling Jen.

I immediately ran over trying to get Jason off Jen. He wouldn't budge. I was scared. I ran into the kitchen grabbed a kitchen knife and ran back. Once Jason saw me with it, he got off Jen and stepped back with arms up.

"What are you gonna do with that?" he asked me.

"Just stay back!" I yelled at him.

"I don't think I can do that."

ADAM'S POV

I heard everything. Alyssa and Jen were in danger. I was almost to Jen's house. I parked the car and ran inside the house. There, I saw Jen passed out on the couch and Alyssa with blood across her face trying to wake Jen and get her to safety.

"Who did this?" I asked Alyssa. Alyssa looked at me with a red face.

"Jason."

"Where is he?"

"Behind you," she answered.

I turned around. "Well if it isn't Adam."

"Jason. Let them go."

"Why? I see absolutely no need for that." I watched him come nearer and nearer with a knife in his bloody hands.

"Look! Jen could be dying right now and if I don't help her…"

"Then what? God, Adam! What is with you and Jen? You and her are done. She doesn't want you anymore! In fact, she never wanted you at all! Why can't you just let her go?!"

I stared at him trying to accumulate what he just said. She never wanted me at all. I didn't want to believe that, but it was almost certainly true.

I heard sirens outside. Suddenly, I heard a group of cops bust the door down and saw their guns pointed at Jason.

"I told you Jason. If you ever touch Jen ever again, I would kill you. This is the closest I can do to doing that."

The cops arrested Jason and took him to the car and drove away. I went over to Alyssa, where Jen was put onto a rolling bed unto the ambulance. Alyssa and I both rode in the back with Jen. I held her hand, hoping she was still alive. I watched as a medic helped Alyssa with the long deep cut on her face.

I stared at Jen. I don't know if I was dreaming or not, but I saw her awake and look at me. She asked with a real faint voice, "Adam, do you love me?"

I nodded my head. I began to cry. I looked away for a second then looked back at Jen who was passed out. "I love you," I whispered to her. I tried to wipe away my tears.

She was put into an isolated room where none of us could enter. We waited until doctors gave us updates. Minutes later Tom arrived, went to Alyssa, and gave her a huge hug. Then an hour passed. Jen's mom arrived and kept asking questions to us about her. In nearly three hours, almost everyone that knew Jen came wondering what had happened.

Then the doctor came.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**** – Too Late For Change**

ALYSSA'S POV

May 31, 2014

It has been practically five years since the big crisis occurred. As I drove through the streets of our town, memories kept coming back. I drove to the very end of the road- to the cemetery.

It was beautiful. It was summertime, leaves green as what people say "greener on the other side of the earth." There was always something about this season. It wasn't too hot or too cold. It was the perfect temperature. I love the feeling of the wind passing beside my face.

I found a group of people standing around a tombstone dressed in black. I went over to them. There was Adam, Tom, Luz, and even Randy. We all greeted each other and just looked at the stone in front of us.

I found what I was looking for. And there it was. It said her name, date of birth to date of death. I tried to hold back my tears.

She was so happy. Months and months pass by, and I could still remember her slowly changing. We've both been through the hard times and we overcame them all. This time, that didn't happen. She asked me for help, but I was too late before it happened.

That day when the doctor came was very difficult for us. I could still see it.

"Well how is she?" they all asked.

The doctor gave a sigh. "I'm sorry, but your friend didn't make it. There wasn't any oxygen passing through her throat and…"

I remember beginning to cry. Tom went over and held me in his arms as I wept. Adam began crying, too. Then he left to be alone. Jen's mom sat there, repeating, "Why? Why?" It was the most horrific and heartbreaking day of my whole life.

For months Adam was quiet. He barely ate food and had any sleep. He was going through depression, and Tom and I tried to comfort him all we can. Nothing worked. In those months, I visited Jen at the hospital everyday until they had to bring her to the cemetery. I couldn't bare see her kept in a box during her funeral. It looked like she was trapped with all her problems and whatever she could do, the walls would not tumble down. Not one of her friends could help tear the wall down. It was just too thick to overcome. It was too late for her, us to change. As they lowered her coffin, I had to leave. The tears were streaming and I could not do anything to hold it back. I ran a couple blocks down of the cemetery to a park. There, all that was inside of me was put out. Puking into the garbage can, Tom found me and brought me home.

And so, here we are, standing in front of her tombstone all quiet. Then carefully, each one of us placed a gift near the stone.

"Happy Birthday, Jen" we all said.


End file.
